note #138

this calm exterior hides the roiling storm inside.
i'm not as good at this as it seems.
i just know how to cover up the crumbling world within myself.

note #137

dear steve -

you are one of the greatest innovators of the emerging computing era. you did a lot in your life and will be missed by more people than you could possibly imagine. you've opened doors and changed industries. you've set the world on fire with the inventions your company has released. you are a visionary. i never knew you and likely never would have, but you touched my life and changed it. for what it's worth: thank you. your legacy will live on and the world will continue - but greater for what you have done.

goodbye. <3

note #136

hustle and flow
like seattle when it snows
if you don't know how it goes
you'd best just go
'cause this is what we know
we hustle and flow
like seattle in the snow.

note #135

run down the day and waste away until there's nothing left.

note #134

the ghostly feel of properly slit wrists and soft bandages where nothing has ever been.

note #133

i have come across a very odd scene outside my window: two cop cars, a tow truck backed up to a car in a drive, and a girl sitting atop said car. the girl seems to argue with one of the cops as the tow truck driver leans on his truck. a guy dressed somewhat nice stands nearby, taking his phone back from the girl when she offers it to him. the second cop sits on the front of his car drinking from his coffee, watching the scene unfold in a bored manner. the girl refuses to get off the top of the car, yelling and making vehement motions with her hand and emphatically shaking her head. if the tow truck were not running i could hear her, but it continues to growl away, waiting to fulfill its task. people pass by, no doubt wondering, as i do, just what is unfolding here.

the girl has finally come down from the top of the car and the cops take her to the side to talk. the tow truck driver gets on with his job, but the car is not towed away. i am left to wonder what has transpired and what paths these people will wend their ways down this night.

this is a truth.

note #132

she watched the sparkler fizzle and die out, the smoke from it drifting on the breeze. children screamed and laughed joyfully in the distance in accompaniment to the sound of fireworks. she continued to stare at the sparkler, her mind empty, the heavy feeling of loneliness settling over her. slowly the tears came. she crouched and dropped her head onto her knees, arms wrapped tight around her legs.

why are you crying? asked a tiny voice. she looked up to see a little girl standing there, her own sparkler in hand. she wiped her face and smiled waveringly at the child. i'm just a little sad, she replied. the girl looked at her in the way that children do when they are trying to figure out the strange things adults do, then held out her sparkler. she took it and looked at the girl who smiled and then ran off to wherever she had come from.

she turned back to the sparkler and watched it fizzle it's last.